As I sit here typing, I have a knowing. I know that there is a light surrounding each of us. A knowing that each of us came to this planet with a plan. I’ve been told that a great amount of assistance, direction and guidance went into this plan while we were in the Spirit World. We mapped out what we wished to accomplish on this earth walk. While there is always free will as a soul embodied into the physical, certain opportunities show up for growth that are in accordance with this plan. As I notice the synchronicities that occur in our daily lives, from the mundane to the the extraordinary, I can’t help but have the idea of some sort of master plan is being solidified.
As some may know, the past few years I’ve been dealing with an at times, debilitating autoimmune disease. I’ve been challenged by this disease on and off since I was 21. 22 years ago I was looking for my birth mother. The disease at this time was running rampant in my body creating excruciating pain. I found my birth mother and in that momentous first conversation I asked if anyone in her family had this disease, as it’s genetic. Yes, she said. Her father had a terrible case of it. They she asked me if I had heard of Reiki, which I had not. I knew nothing about things metaphysical. She went on to tell me that she had learned Reiki to help heal my grandmother of lung cancer. It was successful. Hearing this story I honestly thought my birth mom was weird, but I was desperate for pain relief. I sought out a Reiki Master in Salt Lake City where I was living.
During the first Reiki treatment, I was laying on the table not sure what to expect. With my eyes closed I very clearly saw a teenage boy standing next to me with long blond hair, blue eyes, and about 18 years old. I remember as child often seeing faces looking at me on the ceiling of my bedroom, but nothing like this. Then of all things, he started talking to me in my mind. He smiled and said that he was glad I had met his mom, and that she and I needed each other. I was pretty freaked out. The woman, who became my Reiki teacher, felt something was amiss and asked me. I told her what I was seeing and what he was saying. She burst into tears and went to the piano, bringing back a picture. It was him. It was her son who had taken his life in her house. That afternoon a proverbial light switch turned on. The message was clear. “You have incarnated with these abilities and you’re going to start using them NOW!” And so my journey began.
I saw that there were lessons to be learned from having this disease. I began to actually create the space to be thankful for the pain, because without it I wouldn’t have been on a search for healing. I might not have experienced the awe and mystery of what was opening up for me. I saw that not only were there lessons, but there were blessons. It’s when you’re able to view a painful lesson as a blessing. In other words, a blesson is what happens when you see the blessing in the lesson that your challenge taught you.
We all at some time or another have pain; be it physical or emotional. For me, the last few years has been a time of intense pain. My emotions have run the gamut from desperation, to finally a place of surrender and acceptance. Pain has been a powerful teacher and has taught me many lessons about myself. We can learn a lot about ourselves when we’re in pain.
I want to share a few of the many blessons that pain as taught me. There are times that I have to remind myself of what I’m going to say. There are times I can’t reach for these because I’m in the so called “pit”.
We can feel better when when we acknowledge that it’s there instead of trying to think positive, or by willing it away.
Hello crappy day. Hello pain. Yes, you’re here. I don’t like you. I may even hate you, but this is what it is right now. Instead of cutting myself off from the present moment and pretending otherwise, I’m going to sit down and have a cup of tea with you and look you in the eye.
When we try and avoid feeling something, it doesn’t leave.
That anger that is stuck in your throat isn’t going anywhere unless you deal with it. That sadness that you keep throwing happy Netflix shows at, might be better dealt with by having a good cry and acknowledging that it’s there. You can’t go somewhere else and then begin to deal with your pain. You have to start right where your pain is.
Pain is the ultimate teacher of patience and impermanence.
It’s temporary. It’s ALL temporary. We don’t like to remember that when good stuff is going on. When we sit with our pain, it’s the best time to connect with that knowledge of impermanence. It hurts right now. There was a time when I didn’t hurt. It might not hurt tomorrow. I can be okay with the fact that right now is painful in part because, I know that ultimately it won’t last forever.
Being strong isn’t about being impervious to pain.
I’ll say it again another way: We aren’t strong because pain doesn’t affect us. We are strong because we let pain affect us. We feel it fully. We open up and acknowledge it. Fearlessness isn’t being a brick wall in the face of pain. Fearlessness and strength isn’t a calm facade that doesn’t allow pain to touch us. It’s the opposite. Our strength is in our raw, broken up reality. Don’t push it away. Don’t look away from it. Listen to it. You are so much stronger than you know!
Infinite blessings (blessons),